Sweat drips cold from his brow, as if his thoughts are trying to escape his scalp. Insomnia stares into his face like blinding lights. Ever since he started on his new medication, he could feel his care for life slipping, his mind trying to adjust to the chemical changes overtaking his brain. He knew this wasn’t a fight to recover from depression — a diagnosis thrust upon him. He knew he was fighting the side effects of the psych meds his doctor prescribed.

He tried to stop taking them, but his mother insisted they be taken on time, every day, just like the doctor instructed. He complied with their orders but it didn’t take long for his metabolic processes to break down. Weight gain hit hard and fast. Fatigue cloaked his being like a zombie personality.

Violent, careless impulses seemed to overtake his extremities, like some other entity was in control. It was like he was being trained not to care — empathy dissolving from his human nature. Over time, his mind went through the motions, succumbing to the dose. It made him feel hopeless. His mind only craved more.

His doctor said he was just trying to cope with the depression and that he’d need to keep taking his medicine. When the doctor upped the dose and said he’d need these drugs for life — that’s when he started to see through the illusion of the medication once and for all.

He told his mother it couldn’t go on any longer. He told his doctor he was cutting back, but the more he abstained from the pills, the more the withdrawal effects pulled his mind deeper into confusion. He was determined to come back to his senses, to end the dependence on these medications that were claiming his life. He knew he wanted to be normal, strong and independent — no longer bound to the control of these pills.

Today, he is free from them and the terrifying, hopeless feelings they cause. He is no longer living in a haze. He wakes up with purpose every day. Sure, not all is perfect in his world, but now he copes with his thoughts, feelings and pains in a more wholesome, holistic, liberating way.

Psych meds cause patients to enter “zombie-like” states, feeling terrified and hopeless, 3/7/15

Facebooktwittergoogle_plusredditpinterestlinkedinmailby feather